TSA Removes ‘Naked Scanners’ but Continues to Violate Your Rights


Feel me up, pat me down, the TSA will no longer take pictures of your fully clothed body and see it naked.

No, the naked body scanners are gone, as demanded by Congress — mostly because congressmen grew disappointed in the quality of the nude pictures produced. See, most Americans don’t look as good nude as they do in their head.

And while one machine is gone (all 250 of them at the cost of untold billions), the TSA will keep using its other under the garment inspector as they try to take a looksie at what ever you may have under your shirt. And of course, the untested machines will use microwaves to electronically peep at you.

Some groups call the move silly — as the machine have not proven their worth or even if they help security measures. And if you refuse to have your body belted by microwaves that typically heat up your lunch, the TSA will be quick to pat you down the old fashioned way, by hand.

We would suggest that the TSA simply use X-Ray glasses found in the back of magazines such as Grit and Boys Life, but we are pretty sure that be just as effective as the current machines.

Either way. We hope you feel safer during air travel. (Though the TSA continues to expand its powers, violating people’s rights who use the bus, the train and eventually, we think simply drive. The right to move about freely without harassment no longer exists and unless you can prove your innocence, you are, in the eyes of the TSA, guilty.

About the author

Scott is the executive editor of Hipster Travel Guide. During the day, he's a journalist in Detroit.